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Monday, July 30, 2012

those days.

hi friends.  it's one of those days.
not necessarily a bad day, but just one of those days.
i'm actually in a fine mood - just have lots of things stirring around in this crazy brain of mine.
 
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i just did this.  and it did make me feel better.  i'm a bit of a "butter" junkie.
 
ya know what i hate about life?  rigidity.  i hate having to follow a "schedule" of how life should be.  it infuriates me and makes me feel trapped.  it's not me.  i like to consider myself a free spirit.  i, for the most part, like to flow through life happily and do what makes me happy at any given second of any given day.  sometimes when i'm bogged down by a schedule, i start to rebel.
 
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and that's exactly what's been going on.  i've not run according to my training schedule in weeks.  the whole schedule of it all is annoying me.  it's not that i can't commit - i can.  i just hate feeling like i have to do something.  i want to do things, but when i want to do them.  so i might be crawling across the finish line come october, but i swear from this day on i'm not forcing myself to do anything i don't want to do.  except wake up for work on a monday morning. 
 
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i like to be that person.  the happy person who laughs and has fun.  not the person silently bitching to themselves about how i need to run later, then do laundry, then pull weeds, etc etc etc.  especially when what i really want is to sit on my couch and watch the olympics (which is what i did in the end anyway!) 
 
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like it said, it's one of those days.  when i hate running, hate my schedule for running, hate being busy every single weekend from now until october, hate 90 degree weather, hate laundry & hate everything else that clouds my life. 
 
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i remember this one day, it was chilly but not cold.  it was sunny.  i was hiking on one of my favorite hiking trails with josh & our dog we used to have.  his name was hoagie and he was the definition of free spirit.  that little guy was craaaaazy.  but in the best way possible.  he was the happiest thing i've known.  on that day, we hiked, we soaked in the sunshine.  that day i thought about how good life can be.  how lucky i was.  i wasn't thinking about having to do anything.  not laundry, not running, not planning extravagant meals.  just the air, the trees, the sun, and two of the guys i loved most in life. 
 
i have a way of putting way to much on my plate and worrying about stuff that does not matter in the grand scheme of things.  it's one of those days that i fully accept that i need to slow it down, turn it back a notch and enjoy life.  if that means not doing laundry for a week, then whatever, the world will not end. 
 
 
anyone else have days like these?  any suggestions for "slowing down"? 
 
 


10 comments:

  1. I hear ya girl.
    I HATE schedules. Unfortunately for me I work a desk job that is 830-5 monday-fri. it ends up with me calling in sick a lot. Not because I'm sick, but because I HATE schedules and if it's nice out, I want to be out in the sun!
    I don't have suggestions for you. I feel like if you really get the urge to do something, hike, meet with friends, going to dinner, just do it. Then again, not only do I hate having a schedule I'm impulsive. LOL
    But you are right.. in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter.
    Speaking of laundry... I have to do some. UGHh!!!

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    1. yes, i have a desk job as well. and that's the ONLY schedule i want! i mean i'm a mom too, so obviously we live by some sort of schedule, but for the most part i do NOT like being held down! i'm impulsive too, so i feel ya :) good luck on the laundry, lol!

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  2. Unfortunately, Lindsay, it took me too long in life to really figure out what is important and what isn't. When I was 'twenty something', with one kiddo-I was obsessed with having the laundry done, the house clean, everything organized and in order-spending WAY too much time on things that
    didn't really matter. It took over a decade and 3 more kids to realize the value in doing most things when I feel like doing them. I obviously am bound to enough schedules-work, kids' sports and activities-everything else, I do when I feel like doing it. With this approach, even the most undesirable tasks can be enjoyable because I am doing them because I want to, not because I have to... I guess it is mind over matter, perhaps. Having said that, you seem to have figured out
    what really is important in life, way sooner than I did...so just go with it! If your running schedule
    isn't working for you, switch it up to suit you. The laundry will be there tomorrow. Cereal for dinner
    is not a bad thing in 90 degree weather. You only have the chance to see the summer Olympics
    once every four years!

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    1. thanks anna! just when i think i've "figured things out", life throws a curve. working is enough of a schedule, the rest of life should be lived when and how i want it to be. with exceptions b/c having a two year old it's not like i can just go do whatever whenever anyway. it was definitely one of those days when i needed to vent & rant. i'm thankful for everyone's sweet comments, i'm feeling much more on top of life today :) xo!

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  3. Umm...Yes, I have those days all the time. I hate schedules, yet schedules seem to dominate my life. Work, dance lessons, training for my 8k...On days like that, I tend to walk instead of run, lay on the floor and listen to music instead of vac'ing, eat breakfast for dinner because I love that, and not really doing much of anything. Sometimes the laundry needs to pile high and the house needs to be cluttered. Motivation will come...eventually.

    I used to be so much more of a free spirit...before work, husband, kids, "adult" life took over.

    I will say, I am going paddle boarding this week! I've been dying to do it and this week, by darn, I am going to do it all by myself! I can't wait to be out on the bay at sunset with a clear head :)

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    1. Schedules definitely dominate my life, and i do think that's how life is, but when it's a schedule i don't HAVE to conform to(running, cleaning, eating, etc..) i get sick of it after a while. I love running, but when it feels forced, i hate it. I love cooking, but when forced, hate it. You get it :) Have fun paddleboarding, let me know how it goes - i don't think i could do it, i'm SO uncoordinated!

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  4. P.S. I love me some Peanut Butter...I have a jar in my desk at work :)

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    1. who DOESN'T love peanut butter, it's the most amazing thing :)

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