Thursday, March 1, 2012

Third Time's a Charm

This is going to be a 3 part "series" in the months leading up to Max's 2nd birthday.
On the first of March, April & May I will tell a bit of my story.
Well Max's story.  And mine, and Josh's.  So it's our story.

Max's arrival was a long time coming.  Part one of this will be a bit of a prologue so you can get the background on why this little guy is so darn special to us.

I'm not going to go too in depth because this is over a 3 year span.  But it all began in 2006.  We found out we were preggers with our first little bundle.  SO excited were we.  It was totally unplanned, but we were totally overjoyed.  I told my family, friends, shouted it from rooftops(okay, I didn't do that, but you get my point).  I did everything right.  Took my prenatal vitamins, didn't eat lunchmeat, hot dogs or weird cheeses.  No sushi, no alcohol, ate my veggies.  All of our OB visits went well.  Fast forward to week 12, headed for our last ultrasound of the first trimester, which meant we were in the clear.  The nurse came in to do the ultrasound, showed me all of the developing arms and legs(so cute!), then she was having trouble finding the heartbeat.  Said it was no biggie, sometimes she's no good at finding it when the baby isn't in a good position.  So she goes to get the doctor and I'm getting more and more nervous.  She seemed kind of nervous, didn't she? (I was asking myself and my girlfriend who came with me this question)  The doctor comes in and seems a little "rushy", like something could be wrong.  But no, my little sweet baby was fine, this is what I kept repeating to myself for the next 30 seconds until the doctor finally broke the news --  there was no heartbeat.  The baby at some point(recently since it was so developed), stopped developing as it should, and died.  My world came crashing down.  This couldn't be right.  I was almost to my 2nd trimester, I still felt pregnant, MY BABY had arms and legs for crying out loud.  The next few weeks were hard devastating.  As in all things in life, time passed and life went on.

Now let's fast forward again to 2008.  We're pregnant again!!  This time, no shouting it from the rooftops, and although we were SUPER excited, we were also extremely nervous and scared.  So we tried to not get too excited, but any pregnant person can tell you how hard that is.  A few weeks later I started having some spotting, which lead to bleeding, which lead to you guessed it - losing our second precious baby.  Of course our hearts broke once again, but this time it was almost as if we were prepared for it.

 Maybe we weren't meant to be parents?!  

My family and friends over the course of these years reminded me that "everything happens for a reason" and that "God had a plan".  I knew they were right, but when you're that sad, you don't think about what's right.

More time passed, life again moved on.  Fast forward AGAIN to September 2009.  I was pregnant.
Again, we were happy, but also scared.  Would the third time be the charm?  

Yes.  Yes, it would.

Now I know what they all meant when they said that everything happens for a reason - those two lost babies gave me the most amazing little baby I could ever envision.
Now I know what they all meant when they said God has a plan - he had a plan for us, he knew we would be parents, he took those other two babies to live with him.  I don't know why, and I don't ask why anymore.

The answer for me is when every single day I look into my baby's big blue eyes and fall in love all over again.

Next month, April 1st - Part 2, pregnancy & labor - the good, the bad, and everything in between!


  1. Cannot wait for the next installment

    New Linky Follower from the Friendly Friday Blog Hop

    1. Thanks for stopping by, glad you liked the post :) I'll be over to visit your blog ASAP!


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