Monday, January 30, 2012

The Joys of Motherhood. Or not.

There are SO many things I love about being a Momma.  I can't even begin to count all the amazing ways that having a baby changed my life.  If I think hard enough about how great it is, or how much I love my little Maxy man, it sort of takes my breath away.  With that being said there are a few things that I don't like so much. 

I'm not exactly so great at that part.  Thankfully, Josh kind of handles that department.  If it were left up to me I'd have a child out of control 24/7.  I know it's horrible, and I know that I should be better at it, but I'm not.  I knew I wouldn't be even before I had him, or got pregnant for that matter.  With that said, I would obviously never let him harm himself or someone else.  But the little things, I just have to laugh at him.  He's so cute.  I know, HORRIBLE Momma alert.  It's my biggest flaw, admitting it is the first step! 

Baby Weight.
I gained 40ish pounds when I was pregnant.  I didn't eat a ton of junk, but trust me, I indulged on more than few occasions a LOT.  I continued working out for a while, then that slowly waned.  Hey, I was exhauuuusted.  As any pregnant Momma will tell you, growing a baby is like running a marathon a day for 9 months(actually it's more like 10, just sayin').  Add the unbearable back pain I dealt with from month 6 on, and let's just say I spent a lot of time lounging.  Too much time.  I got into a routine of being a total couch potato.  I still haven't lost all the baby weight.  Most of it, but not all of it.  And that sucks.

Doing ME.
This kind of goes hand in hand with the above.  I no longer work out, whereas before I was an avid runner and was very into being physical and eating as clean and healthy as possible.  Now?  Not so much.  Of course I did indulge occasionally, and I think you should, but every night isn't occasionally.  Every night is overboard.  I'm not overweight, but I do have baby weight to lose, and Max will be TWO this May.  It's not even about the weight, but just the "not being happy with my body" feeling that I have.  I want to tone up, be active, and feel as energetic as I did before.  My excuse all along has been that I'd rather spend time with Max.  Trust me, I would rather be with him than working out any day of the week.  But I also would like to feel comfy in my own skin, and be as healthy as I can FOR him, and for myself too.  When was the last time I did anything for myself when Max wasn't sleeping?  Umm, I couldn't give you an honest answer.  He's my world, what can I say?  But as much as I love him and want to give him all my time, 24/7, I have to love myself and give myself some "me" time too.  Whether that be working out, crafting, or just laying in bed with my eyes shut for more than 30 seconds(wouldn't THAT be amazing).  

With that said.  I started Insanity today.  My brother in law has the tapes and he's lending them to me.  It's free Insanity, I couldn't pass it up.  I just did the first day - the Fitness Test.  Umm, hardest.test.ever.  Almost passed out and threw up a couple of times, but I finished it, so I guess that's a plus.  Feeling good that I actually did it, but also feeling a little overwhelmed.  I can't believe I let myself get this out of shape.  I just have to keep reminding myself to stick with this.  For 60 days.  Then be proud of myself for doing it.  I did take before pics, but I'll wait to post them with the afters.  Keep everyone in suspense :)

If there's one thing to do after having a baby - KEEP DOING YOU.


  1. Linds, I couldn't have said it better myself....discipline is not my strong point! But the biggest thing that got me in this post was the KEEP DOING YOU. Why is this sooooo hard to do? It's so easy to get trapped in you childs word. My goal this year is to DO ME and rediscover me. I've lost myself as a person in being a Mom.....and I've learned that that's OK! BUT you DO need to find the balance and still be YOU as well as a Mother. Even if it's taking a weekly pedicure or going through old photos of you and thinking about all the memories....take time for yourself and rediscover you. You'll be glad you did.....and most of all your child will be happier because you did. <3


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